More Info →Draft Risk Management Assessment Policy

Object type:Multi-page

Description: Draft Risk Management Assessment Policy

Take your coat

Its going to rain

Better still

Take the train

If you go high

You may fall

Watch out for the suns rays

They’re gonna burn you

Its dangerous to go out at night

You can’t be seen and if you wear visible clothing

You’ll attract predators

Stay at home

Have you got a licence for that machine?

It could harm you

Put on some protective gear

Things could happen when you use it

Ok so its an egg beater-

but things can still go wrong

A blade could inadvertently fly off and lodge in your spine

You may laugh but it has happened before

The rules are only there to protect you

You’d like to volunteer? You’d like to help?

But we aren’t covered for accidents

Could you wait at the main entrance

We don’t want germs to get in here

You’d like to experiment

But we cant afford the risk

I’m sorry Mr Faraday but if we all did what we wanted where would we be?

Yes of course we’d love to have you but the funding criteria wont allow us to have you

Keep your hair like everyone elses

You don’t want to attract bullies

How will you do that without financial backing?

If it fails we want to be covered

Don’t smoke

Don’t share spit

Don’t touch people

Kiss without connecting lips

Love people from a distance; its safer

Make sure your shoes are anatomically correct

Before you go walking

Earth sea and sky are dangerous and have been lethal

Millions have been killed to date

That’s not a playground:

That’s a commando course with hidden traps

Seesaws are potential hazards. They could hurl your child like a missile into a brick wall.

Think of the slide as driving in a speeding car without safety belts-

You wouldn’t do it, would you?

That’s not an office you work in;

It’s a potential earthquake fire hazard/terrorist target

Look at the way it sticks out into the sky

Something could fly into it

Its asking for it

Don’t say the wrong thing

Only go so far in speaking your mind

You may lose your job

You may be under competency scrutiny

Or performance monitoring

Or look dumb

Or, hey, lose your friends

Have you filled out the form yet?

Its important that we analyse the risks so that you are aware of the dangers

Hey don’t just sit there while I’m talking

Get motivated getup and go

Ok. You cant breathe cant move cant think

but you’re safe

So fill out the form on risk management compliance while your here

People like you are a potential risk