| Q. What goes ninety nine plonk? | A. A centipede with a wooden leg. | |
| Q. What goes up the chimney down but can't go down the chimney up? | A. An umbrella. | |
| Q. What cot can't you sleep in? | A. An apricot. | |
| Q. What can you put in a box to make it lighter? | A. Holes | |
| "How old are you sonny?" asked the man. | "Six Sir." Came the brisk reply. | |
| "Six!" echoed the man, | " And you are not even as high as my umbrella!" | |
| The boy drew himself up to his full height - " And how old is your umbrella Sir?" he demanded. | ||
| A singlet is a young swan.
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| Ceyeals are films shown at the pictures.
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| The Royal Mint is what the King puts on his roast lamb.
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| Jack: What's the difference between an elephant and a pound of sausages? Bill: I don't know. Jack: Well you'd be a fine one to send for a pound of sausages.
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| Teacher: " Why are you so late Tommy?" Tommy: " I overslept Sir" Teacher: " Where would I be if I overslept?" Tommy: " In bed Sir"
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| Teacher: " I asked you to write an essay on what you would do if you were a millionare. You've written nothing" Dave: " Well, that's what I'd do Miss!" | ||
| Q. Can you jump higher then a metre wall? | A. Yes. A wall can't jump. | |
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| After preparing fish, wash hands in cold tea. This gets rid of the fishy smell on the skin. |